


but my heartbeat is too much

by clairehelene



Series: nct high school au [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Attempt at Humor, Denial of Feelings, First Time, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Johnny/OFC, Mutual Pining, Smut, just for like a couple paragraphs though, only a bit though and at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 12:46:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17080583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clairehelene/pseuds/clairehelene
Summary: It took Ten a couple more failed relationships until he realised that Johnny was, in fact, the best thing that had ever happened to him.Or:Ten is in love with Johnny but too much of a coward to confess.





	but my heartbeat is too much

**Author's Note:**

> hello, it is i and i have returned with yet another story no one asked for B)
> 
> this takes place in the same universe as my nomin fanfic, though at some points they don't correspond well because a bitch is lazy. i'll try to fix that as soon as possible though (i also didn't write this in full lapslock because i got bullied by my friend, and i'll change that in the other story as well)
> 
> shoutout to [charlotte](URL%20of%20the%20site) for being a legend and helping me turn this piece of garbage into something readable . mwah ! <3 also are you proud i managed to finish it before 2019
> 
> title comes from "too much" by loco feat. dean, listen to it for good grades and flawless skin

As long as Ten could remember, Johnny had always been there for him. Ten had been eleven years old when his family had moved to Seoul, South Korea. Back then, the only languages he spoke were Thai and a few English phrases, which was why he fell behind in class quickly.  Johnny, himself, was born in America but he had lived in South Korea for a lot longer. He was the only one willing to talk to the Thai boy, first in English and after a while in Korean as well.

Ten would never forget how they’d meet up almost every day after school to practice his Korean. Ten often felt like a burden to the older one, but Johnny reassured him that it was not the case and that he gladly helped him.

They got older, went to the same high school and were practically attached at the hip. Ten joined the dance club where he met Lee Taeyong, his first boyfriend. At first Ten had been afraid of telling Johnny, but his worries had turned out to be unnecessary as Johnny was very understanding and accepting of the fact that the days of gushing over the female lead cheerleader were over.

Ten and Taeyong realised soon enough that it wouldn’t work out between them and they decided they’d be better off as friends. The three of them quickly became best friends, before Taeyong got to know Jung Jaehyun and Kim Dongyoung, who knew even more people until they all became a huge group of friends.

It took Ten a couple more failed relationships until he realised that Johnny was, in fact, the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Ten smiled as he stroked over the multiple wristbands on his left hand. Most were from dancing competitions or – his most recent one – from a gay pride parade in New York City he had attended during his stay there in the summer break. However, the one he treasured the most was the oldest band he had. It was a worn braided ribbon which Johnny had given him at the first day of high school and Ten had been wearing it ever since. So that we’ll never be apart for the rest of our lives, Johnny had said with a lopsided grin, blushing furiously at the cheesy gesture. His p.e. teachers always scolded him for wearing jewellery during their classes but Ten was too stubborn to take it off.

In a few days, he’d start his last year of school and he couldn’t wait to finally get out of there. And even though he wasn’t out to get straight A’s, he didn’t want his year at school to completely go to waste.

Since last year, he had started working at the local dance studio as an assistant slash half-time dance teacher, and he had fallen in love with the little kids he got assigned to. However, the payment was pretty shit and he could barely afford the rent for the apartment he had to pay on his own since his parents had decided to kick him out almost immediately after his eighteenth birthday, not wanting to support his wish to become a dancer.

He huffed and went into the kitchen, crouching down to his mini fridge, looking for something to eat. There was only a Tupperware box with rice and chicken breast his mother had brought him the other day. He’d have that for dinner, though, and it was barely noon. So, he closed the door again with a grumbling stomach.

As if on cue, he got a message. It was from Taeyong, asking if he wanted to hang out before the teachers would bombard them with homework and projects and they had no free time left. Ten gladly accepted the offer (though he knew he’d even meet up with his friends, no matter how much homework or assignments he could possibly have). He changed from his sweatpants into a pair of black jeans and after he looked out the window, he decided he wouldn’t need a jacket; his t-shirt was perfectly fine.

The walk to the park was only a couple minutes long and he could already see Taeyong from afar, sitting on a bench and feeding pigeons.

“What’s up?” Ten said as he plopped himself next to the other.

“We haven’t seen each other for almost two months, and a ‘what’s up?’ is all I get?” Taeyong chided him with a playful undertone as he stuffed the biscuits into his pocket. “I’m really disappointed.”

“Well, you decided to spend all your free time with Jaehyun. Also, be careful, Yongie, I might get the impression you’ve been missing me,” Ten laughed and Taeyong joined in before he hugged him.

“It’s really good to see you, Ten. How was America?” he wanted to know.

“Oh, it was amazing. I’m so glad my grandparents decided to give me a trip to any place I wanted for my birthday, instead of money, you know? Also, look,” Ten said grinning and held up his arm with the bracelets, and he pointed at the new one. “Guess where I went.”

“Wow, that’s so cool! And did you meet anyone?” Taeyong wiggled his eyebrows suggestively but Ten was quick to shake his head.

“Unfortunately not. I still haven’t, you know...” Ten cleared his throat and looked everywhere but Taeyong’s piercing gaze.

“You mean you still haven’t gotten over your crush on Johnny. I thought you wanted to forget him, Ten!” Taeyong sounded almost disappointed and Ten felt bad for some reason, even though he thought he really wasn’t one to blame.

“I tried, okay? I really did, but I just can’t,” Ten whined helplessly. “At this point, I’m sure it isn’t a crush anymore. I love him, Taeyong, the time apart from him made me realise that.”

Taeyong sighed and went through his newly dyed, red hair. He patted Ten’s shoulder as he spoke softly, “I guess we all saw that coming. Just, whenever you need someone to talk, we’re all here for you.”

Ten nodded, sniffled before he laughed awkwardly. “Real emo hours, huh?” he asked. “So... how was your vacation with Jaehyun?”

Taeyong’s eyes started to sparkle as soon as he started talking about the road trip he did with his boyfriend. They had visited the east and south coast as well as a lot of big cities. Ten tried not to show how jealous he was of their seemingly perfect relationship. He was really happy for both of them, but he couldn’t help but wonder when he’d finally be this happy with someone else.

Taeyong didn’t even realise that Ten had gotten unusually quiet, save for some ‘ah’s and ‘oh’s, as he continued happily talking about how Jaehyun nearly ran a deer over on their way back to Seoul. Ten didn’t want to spoil the other’s happy mood, so he just listened with a tight-lipped smile.

They separated when the sun had started to set and the growling of Ten’s stomach had started to drown out the birds’ chirping. He told Taeyong that his stomach had gotten upset because he had eaten something foul since he didn’t want to make the other worry because he tended to do all the time.

He told him to say hi to Jaehyun as they bid their goodbyes and they parted ways. It was getting colder as the sun was disappearing as well, and Ten briefly wondered why he didn’t at least bring a pullover. The cold air just spurted him on more to get to his ratty apartment as soon as possible.

Getting back was both relieving and depressing. He was glad to be back and went straight into his bed where he let himself fall face-first into and he just laid there for a couple of minutes. When he turned on his back and looked around his room, he was reminded of his current miserable excuse of a life. The beige paint was starting to peel from the walls and in the corner, a huge water stain was mocking him. Ten glared back and decided that he’d need to find a new apartment soon.

 

///

 

With a sneer, Ten gave himself a once-over in the mirror. It had been not even five minutes that he’d put on his school uniform and it already started itching under his armpits. He sighed for what felt like the twentieth time this morning, ruffled through his hair to protest against the school’s rules that told them to dress neatly and just look like they have their lives under control, which, come on, he clearly hadn’t.

He filled his bottle with tap water, grabbed an apple from the kitchen counter and slung his bag over his shoulder. Outside the building, he could already see Dongyoung’s brand new BMW. He had gotten the car from his parents for his extraordinarily good marks, and now it was his duty to collect everyone who lived close to him and drive them to school.

The latter broke into a gummy smile as he saw Ten and he let his window down to wave at the other. Ten just chuckled to himself and got into the car. “Hi there,” he said with a grin.

Dongyoung, as well as Yukhei and Jungwoo who were also in the car, greeted him with the same enthusiasm.

The ride was accompanied by laughter and smiles as they shared funny stories of their holidays, and talked about the horrible teachers they all had been assigned to. A collective sigh went through the car, however, as they spotted the building they had all avoided in the past two months. “NEO HIGH SCHOOL” was written in bold letters in a weird lime green colour, and Ten briefly wondered how long it would take to paint over the letters with another colour.

“Look, there are Jaehyun and Taeyong,” Yukhei pointed out and waved with both arms.

The four of them left Dongyoung’s car – Dongyoung checked all their seats if they had left any stains on his new beauty – and walked towards their friends. The couple’s face lit up as soon as they spotted the others. A lot of “hello’s”, “how’ve you been’s” and even more hugs were exchanged before Taeyong not so discreetly nudged Ten’s arm and nodded into the direction three figures were walking up to them.

Ten didn’t need to look twice to make out Johnny’s tall and built physique – had he been working out even more during the holidays? –and he tried to suppress a smile, failing miserably. He was accompanied by Mark and Donghyuck but Ten successfully blended them out as he ran into Johnny’s opened arms with a speed that would have made anyone fall over. But not Johnny, because he stood there as solid as a rock, as he had ever since Ten got to know him.

“Hi, I missed you,” Ten mumbled into the fabric of Johnny’s button-up shirt.

“I figured that,” the older laughed, his chest vibrating at that and Ten had to giggle as well. “I missed you, too.”

They separated and Johnny ruffled through Ten’s hair, resulting in the younger pouting his lips which made Johnny coo in return.

“Hello?” Donghyuck asked suddenly, waving in front of Ten’s face. “Haven’t you missed me as well?”

“No,” Ten deadpanned and the younger narrowed his eyes at him. Ten hugged him anyway, even it was only to be able to escape Mark’s wrath, and they joined the others.

Johnny kept an arm around Ten while they all talked about everything and nothing with the others, catching up with the latest gossip and talking about new students they had heard would transfer to their school.

“It’s so weird without Taeil here,” Dongyoung said, earning hums of agreement from the others.

“I bet he’s still in bed and laughing at all of us right now,” Donghyuck said bitterly. “I heard he has classes only three days a week? That’s so unfair.”

“I miss his lame jokes,” Ten said almost wistfully.

“I miss the way he always wore something black, saying he was attending his own funeral,” Mark added.

 “Guys, stop pretending he died or something,” Taeyong sighed and shook his head. “He’s literally still in the same city as us.”

“Yeah, but his college is on the other side of Seoul,” Chenle chirped.

“Admit it, you’re missing him, too,” Jisung chimed in with a grin.

Taeyong pursed his lips before he answered the two youngest. “I never said I didn’t, I just think you’re exaggerating a bit.”

A collective eye roll went through the group, but they dropped the issue anyways. They started comparing their timetables to see whom they had classes with, and Ten was probably too glad he wasn’t in the same p.e. class as Johnny. Last year, Johnny had clearly been out to kill Ten, because he wore tank tops or muscle shirts for almost the whole school year, and it was understood that Ten had been busy drooling over that most of the time during class.

Johnny had removed his arm from Ten and was now talking to Yuta. Jisung took that as permission to approach Ten, not worried anymore that he’d disturb them at whatever they were doing.

“Hyung, you’re still working at the dance studio, right?” the younger asked and Ten nodded enthusiastically.

“Yup, I do. I’ve had a small break over the summer, but I’ll start again soon,” he explained cheerfully. “Why do you ask?”

Jisung suddenly became nervous and he fiddled with the straps of his backpack before he mustered up the courage to answer the question. “I, um, I was thinking of joining? The dance club, I mean, as a trainee of course,” he said quickly.

“Oh, really? That’s an amazing idea. You definitely have the talent for it,” Ten assured him and patted him on his shoulder. “I wanted to visit the studio today anyways; I can ask my boss about it. You’d be an amazing addition to the team!”

Jisung smiled at the words and thanked Ten multiple times before he joined Renjun, Chenle and the other ones again.

“To be young like that again,” Mark suddenly said next to him and Ten hoped his flinching hadn’t been too obvious.

“You’re only, like, a day older than him, Mark,” Ten scoffed.

“It’s two years, thank you,” the other replied. He wrapped an arm around Ten’s shoulder and pulled him closer. “Taeyong told me about your, how do I say, ever-present love for Johnny.”

Ten sighed. “I don’t remember asking you to harass me. And tell Taeyong that I’ll never trust with one of my secrets again.”

“Also,” Mark added sternly, and Ten maybe would have been intimidated if Mark wasn’t younger than him and probably had the most adorable doe eyes ever. “He lives with me now. So if you ever want, you know, alone time, Hyuck and I would be willing to go somewhere else.” He punctuated his offer with the wiggle of his eyebrows and Ten looked at him with the most disgusted look he could pull off.

“I’m just gonna ignore everything you just said, Mark,” Ten answered dryly and managed to peel Mark’s arm off his body.

He considered asking if Mark and his boyfriend could move out permanently so he could live with Johnny in his apartment without having to pay for the rent, but he guessed it’d be pretty unlikely that he would agree to that.

Mark just shrugged and opened his mouth but, thankfully, got interrupted by the ringing bell.

Ten quickly looked for Yuta and Sicheng, who he had a class with now. He dreaded that he’d be third-wheeling for the next sixty minutes now. Yuta with his questionable affection for Sicheng would ignore Ten and everything else around him while he’d focus all his energy and attention on the poor boy.

Johnny saw the worried look on Ten’s face and ruffled through the younger’s hair one last time. Ten glared at Johnny, but Johnny just grinned at him and wished him good luck for his first class. Ten did the same time and jogged after Yuta and Sicheng who already went without him.

This was already going just as he had expected.

 

///

 

Morning classes went by like a blur, and before Ten realised, it was already lunch break.

He was one of the last ones of their group to arrive in the lunch hall, but it was not hard to make out the others; apart from the fact that he had been occupying the largest table for the past couple years, their group had an unmistakable loudness to them. But if one were to ask Ten, he’d say that he wouldn’t want to have it any other way. And even if he minded the noises, he was sure he’d be welcome at the table of the younger ones, who had already successfully separated themselves from their hyungs.

He joined the others at the table and sat down on the seat Johnny had kept free with his bag.

“How were your first classes this year?” he asked everyone around him.

Yukhei, across from him, groaned loudly and pointed at Kun, next to him, who was busy skimming his textbook. “I have had all classes with him so far and that guy is actually insane. He already asked our teachers about the exams and tests and all that. Everyone in our class hates him now,” he said while throwing said student a dirty look.

“Just because some people actually want to make something of their life, Yukhei,” Kun answered in a monotone voice, not bothering to look up from what he was reading.

“Don’t you think you’re... exaggerating, maybe?” Jungwoo asked softly as if a too harsh tone would set Kun off. But then again, he spoke like this to everyone.

“This is my last year here, and I want perfect grades, Jungwoo. I appreciate yours and everyone’s concern but believe me, I know what I’m doing,” he explained, but put his book away, in order to eat his lunch.

Johnny and Ten shared a brief smile before Sicheng spoke up. “I want to trade classes. Yuta kept distracting me and I couldn’t concentrate on what the teacher was saying,” he complained in a whiny tone.

The others just looked at him with pitiful looks and shrugged. It had been like this for quite a while now, Yuta confessing his undying love for Sicheng every day, but they knew Yuta wouldn’t do anything to actually hurt the Chinese boy.

Taeyong’s brother, Jeno, was squished between Taeyong and Jaehyun and Ten watched him trying to convince Jaehyun to take Taeyong out more often. He claimed, he liked the quietness whenever his big brother wasn’t around which allowed him to study peacefully, but Ten didn’t need psychic abilities to know Jeno just wanted to invite all his friends over so they could play computer games until the next morning.

“Please hyung,” Jeno asked and jutted out his lower lip, batting his eyelashes at Jaehyun, who looked amused and entertained by Jeno’s act. “You both wanted me to study more this year, but you need to give me a chance to.”

“Why do I have the feeling, the house will look like a bomb exploded there if we leave you on your own?” Taeyong asked and Jeno huffed and crossed his arms.

“This is unfair,” he complained. “You’re in a relationship and yet you don’t cherish it as you should.”

“Thanks for the relationship advice, big boy,” Jaehyun laughed, eyes almost disappearing as he looked at the freshman fondly. “How about you get yourself someone so you can cherish it all you want.”

Jeno made a pft-noise. “I can’t just get myself, someone. I need to wait for the right one.”

Donghyuck, who had been one of the many spectators of the argument, clinked himself into the conversation. “Just, like, two days ago, you kept crying over how lonely you are and how you’ll never find yourself a boyfriend,” he accused the other.

“Hyuck,” Jeno whined again, drawing out the ‘u’. “This was supposed to stay between us.”

Donghyuck just shrugged, decided his work was done here and went back to giving Mark his undivided attention.

“Don’t you want to eat something, Ten?” Johnny asked lowly when everyone minded their own business again.

“Nah, not hungry,” Ten lied through gritted teeth. His apple had survived exactly one class before his hunger had taken over and now Ten regretted everything.

“Come on, stop lying. Your stomach has been growling the whole time,” Johnny protested. “Here have some of mine.” He shoved his box of salad and chicken strips over and Ten was honestly too hungry to bother being polite, so he just dug in with Johnny’s fork.

Another thing he loved about Johnny was how he never brought up the fact that Ten had been kicked out and lived off the minimalistic wage he got from his job at the studio. And that made it somehow less hard for Ten to accept Johnny’s food or sleep at his for a night.

“You’ve lost of weight, too,” Johnny observed. “Can you even teach dance classes like that?”

“You bet I can,” Ten threw back, the spark in Johnny’s eyes not going unnoticed by him.

“Prove it,” Johnny retorted with a smirk.

“Mark, drop the beat,” Ten announced loudly as he rose from his seat.

Mark immediately reacted as he started to beatbox, and Ten immediately moved his body to the beat. He figured it wasn’t the smartest idea to start a dance battle in the middle of the lunch hall where pretty much everyone was watching but a) he wasn’t alone, Johnny was making a fool of himself as well and b) he seriously couldn’t care less. This was his last year in school and he damn well was going to leave an imprint on everyone.

Johnny’s response was silly, yet adorable dance moves which seemed like warming up for cheerleaders, especially emphasised by his loud counting from one to eight.

The battle ended in a laughing fit and Johnny and Ten hugging each other as they reclaimed their seats. He was still giggling when Johnny ran his fingers through his hair and took off his jacket.

Ten moved his chair closer to Johnny’s so he could lean into his side as he slowly caught his breath again. Johnny gladly wrapped his arms around Ten and started playing with the wristbands on the Thai’s hand.

“Oh, you got a new one?” Johnny asked all of a sudden, close to his ear, and Ten gulped.

“Yeah, I got it in the summer holidays,” he replied with a slightly shaking voice.

“You were in New York City? And you didn’t tell me?” Johnny sounded mad and he nudged Ten so he would retreat from Johnny’s personal space. “You knew I was in Chicago the whole time, and we could have met up so I could show you my hometown. We’ve wanted to do that for ages.”

Ten’s heart broke at the sound of Johnny’s voice. Not only did he sound mad but also betrayed and Ten immediately felt bad and regretted not telling Johnny about his visit. But to his defence, he had had his reasons. Well, in the end, he hadn’t really succeeded in getting over Johnny, but that was beside the point.

“I guess I forgot?” Ten tried but Johnny didn’t seem convinced.

“You didn’t text me at all for two months except for half-assed replies to my messages or your daily snaps to hold up our streak. You don’t really have forgotten, I don’t believe you.”

“I’m sorry, Johnny, I really am. I can’t say exactly why I didn’t tell you, but just please, believe me, I’m so sorry,” Ten pleaded and grabbed Johnny’s hand to accentuate his statement.

He knew Johnny wasn’t satisfied with his apology but he accepted it anyway but pulling Ten into a hug again. “Just tell me next time, okay?” he asked and Ten simply nodded.

Ten realised too late how the whole table was staring at them, not really able to process what they just witnessed.

“What are you looking at?” Ten snapped, probably a bit feisty, but he generally didn’t like the idea of being watched while he was post-fight hugging someone. The others quickly looked away, except for Taeyong, who continued eyeing him with an indefinable look.

“I think the kids found a new friend,” Jaehyun said suddenly, and Ten thanked the gods for his existence, as everyone focused on the younger’s table. “Taeyong, don’t you wanna greet and welcome him? You know, as the student council president.”

Taeyong’s response was big puppy eyes directed at his boyfriend and Jaehyun had no other choice but to comply to his silent request of taking care of the new one himself. He left off to the table where the younger sat and introduced himself.

“Are you gonna come over later?” Johnny asked Ten, who had once again claimed Johnny’s torso as his personal pillow.

“Sure, why not,” Ten answered almost immediately. “I’ll have to stop at the dance studio before, though.”

“That’s fine. We’ll just have to walk there, I guess because Mark won’t drive with us to the studio,” Johnny said, and added an explanation to Ten’s confused look: “I live with him now, right? And he drove us to school today. Hyuck and me, that is.”

Ten made an acknowledging humming sound and retrieved from his comfortable spot to sit back up normally. He didn’t want people getting the wrong idea, even though it was probably too late for that now anyway, he figured.

Jaehyun returned from the other table and slammed his hand on the table, successfully getting everyone’s attention. “We have a new one in our group,” he announced.

“Says who?” asked Dongyoung.

“Says me,” Jaehyun said dryly. “Believe me, you’ll love him. Especially you, Jeno.”

Jeno made one of his confused sounds and stuttered a “What do you mean, hyung?” Jaehyun just smiled down at him and winked, telling Jeno to trust him on this one.

 

///

 

“Ten! Long time no see, my friend,” said Zhang Yixing loudly in English, when Ten entered the foyer of his very own dance studio.

The lobby was empty but Ten glanced around the counter and saw a dance class being held by one of his colleagues Lee Taemin. The trainees were all over eighteen, older than Ten’s class and he was surprised at how talented and synchronised they were. He didn’t recognise the choreography but from the thumping bass he heard through the glass door, he guessed it was a slow and rather sultry number.

“And you are...,” he asked in slightly accented Korean this time, directed at Johnny who followed Ten closely.

“Oh, my name’s Johnny,” said boy replied easily in English, and Yixing seemed relieved by that.

“How was your stay in the U.S., Ten?” the born Chinese man asked Ten, who furiously blushed and threw a worried glance at Johnny, who was thankfully busy inspecting the walls of the lobby plastered with all kinds of awards.

“It was really refreshing,” Ten replied. “I got to see a lot, and it was great to get out of here for a while. I’m sorry that I booked my vacation so suddenly.”

Yixing just made a gesture with his hand, which was probably supposed to tell him not to worry, but Ten found it looked like he was trying to swat away some flies. “Don’t worry, we got it covered. But it’s still good to see you again.”

“You too,” Ten laughed. “I wanted to know when I could start again.”

“Do you have time right now? I would like to talk to you about something,” Yixing said, his naturally cheerful attitude suddenly replaced by something more sincere and serious.

“Uh, sure.” Ten looked at Johnny who nodded eagerly and held up his phone, probably trying to tell him that he’d be able to entertain himself while he waited.

Yixing led ten into his private office and motioned for him to sit down and he took a seat himself on his own office chair. Ten fiddled with the hem of his shirt. Was Yixing going to kick him out? Was he mad that Ten had just disappeared for almost two months?

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad,” Yixing assured him with a dimpled smile and this put Ten more at ease. “Do you want something to drink?”

“Yixing, please, you’re killing me here,” Ten burst out before he could hold himself back.

Yixing laughed whole-heartedly and apologised. “So, you’ve been working as an assistant before, right?”

Ten nodded quickly, trying not to think to know where this was going.

“And I was wondering, if you, it’s okay if you don’t want to, but I was wondering if you wanted to work as a real trainer? That includes getting your very own crew, which you’ll get to train for contests with your own choreographies. I know it sounds like a lot of pressure, but I’m sure you’d be able to do it.”

Ten was taken aback by that. He had sort of expected that, sure, but actually hearing it was something entirely different.

“And you’d obviously get paid better,” Yixing added, and if the things before hadn’t been able to convince him, this would have been the compelling argument.

“I would love to,” Ten said with a wide grin. “It means a lot that you’re considering me for this, Yixing, thank you.”

“I’m honestly glad you’re agreeing. You know one of our best trainers left and it would have been hard to find someone else for this post who isn’t familiar with how things roll here,” Yixing told him.

“What do you mean, who left?”

“Kris, or Wu Yifan, however, he introduced himself to you, he left to go to America. He wants to start a solo career there or something like that,” the other explained, and he looked genuinely sad about it.

“That’s so sad to hear,” Ten said honestly and tried putting as much empathy into his voice as possible. “I liked him a lot, and he was a very good dancer, in my opinion.”

“You’re right, he was...” Yixing became silent for a while and Ten guessed he was walking down memory lane and remembering things he did with Kris. After all, they had been close, actual friends and not just colleagues.

Yixing clapped in his hands and Ten flinched. “Anyways! I’m glad you took up on the offer, and I’ll e-mail you further details. And if you have any questions, you know where to find me.”

Ten rose up from his seat when he remembered something. “I have a friend who wants to join this studio as well,” he explained.

“I see. How old is he?”

“He’s fifteen.”

Yixing looked at him strangely for a short moment, most likely wondering why on earth Ten referred to a teenager as his friend, before he started typing on his computer.

“I could assign you to the same crew you had last year, your friend would fit in there as well age-wise, so you could teach him as well. I guess that’s the easiest solution for everyone,” Yixing suggested and Ten couldn’t help but clap excitedly.

“Thank you a lot,” he told Yixing in Chinese, making the other chuckle because of his horrible pronunciation.

Yixing led him to the entrance hall again, where Johnny had been obediently waiting, sitting on one of the black sofas and playing a game on his phone. Ten felt bad for making him wait so long, but he swallowed the uneasy feeling quickly.

The American looked up at their footsteps and got up as well.

“It was nice seeing you again, Ten. And you, too, Johnny. Take care of yourselves,” Yixing told the two of them, hugged Ten and then Johnny as well because Yixing was an amazing hugger and Ten found Johnny had to experience one of his hugs at least once.

“See you,” Ten called and waved as he walked through the door, Johnny behind him.

“And?” Johnny wanted to know. “What did he tell you?”

Ten couldn’t hide his smile as he answered. “I’m becoming a full-time trainer now,” he told him. “Also I’m gonna get a raise which means I’ll be able to move out of that shithole I call my apartment.”

“That’s amazing, congratulations!”

For some reason, they were still speaking in English, but it just came naturally to them. English was the first language they had communicated in and it had become the language they talked most comfortably in. When they around the others, they spoke in Korean, but right now, English just seemed more convenient.

They continued walking down the street in silence, each going after his own thoughts when Ten spoke up again.

“So, what do you wanna do later?” he asked, angling his head so he could look at Johnny’s face.

“I don’t know,” the other shrugged. “We could chill and you can tell me all about your stay in New York City.”

Ten winced at the snappy tone of Johnny’s voice and guilt washed through his body, clawed at his heart.

“Look, Johnny, I’m sor-“

“Ok, I admit, that was mean. I just wanted to get that one out,” Johnny chuckled, amused by the look on Ten’s face. “I forgive you, kiddo.” With that, he ruffled through Ten’s hair, and Ten melted at the touch.

“You’re barely older,” Ten commented through gritted teeth because after all, he had to maintain his façade of not enjoying any of Johnny’s physical displays of affection.

“But I still am, which means you’re my baby. My baby boy, Tennie,” Johnny cooed.

This time, Ten had a hard time keeping a smile. He really wanted to tell Johnny to stop calling him that but that would just cause awkward situations and unwanted questions, and Ten wanted to avoid possibly telling Johnny about his crush at all costs. So, he just sucked it up and tried not to die when Johnny continued calling him his baby boy, trying to keep up his smile.

They arrived at Johnny’s and Mark’s apartment in no time. Johnny unlocked the door, and when he spotted both Donghyuck and Mark’s shoes in the hallway, he announced loudly: “Everybody says hello to our new dance teacher!”

Mark waddled into the hallway to greet them, covered in sweats pants and a worn hoodie. He congratulated Ten on his promotion before he told of them to join him and Donghyuck on the couch and watch this new show with them. The two newcomers just looked at each other, before shrugging and nodding. They could use some relaxation after their definitely too stressing first day of school.

“You can wear some of my clothes,” Johnny suggested as they made their way to the small but cosy living room.

Ten almost tripped over his own feet after he heard those words. Him? Wearing Johnny’s way too big clothes? Fuck yes.

And it wasn’t even like they never shared clothes – it was mostly Johnny lending Ten his clothes – but Ten just loved the feeling of practically drowning in the other’s gigantic hoodies or sweatpants. As stupid as it sounded, it made him feel home and somehow safe.

Yeah, Ten needed to get his shit together as soon as possible.

Johnny handed him a sweater of an American band Ten didn’t recognise and, much to Ten’s disapproval, a pair of Mark’s pants he had found in his own closet. Ten got changed in the bathroom, used the deodorant he found on the counter before he joined the rest in the living room.

Mark and Donghyuck were curled up, their legs tangled and arms wrapped around each other that Ten had difficulties trying to find out where one started and the other ended. He tore his gaze away before he’d start openly staring, and he ignored the feeling of jealousy which ran through his body.

He flopped down next to Johnny, grabbed a pillow to support his head as he leaned on Johnny’s shoulder, all but melting into him. He occupied himself on his phone, chatting with a few friends before he scrolled through his Instagram feed.

He almost had to laugh out as Johnny replied to him from his own phone in the group chat even though he was literally next to him before he thought of an answer. When Mark and Donghyuck suddenly were active in the chat as well, he just glared at them.

[2:34 pm]

_[jaehyunnie (_ _ノ_ _*_ _゜_ _▽_ _゜_ _*) has added nana to the groupchat.]_

**_jaehyunnie (_** ** _ノ_** ** _*_** ** _゜_** ** _▽_** ** _゜_** ** _*):_** everybody welcome jaemin!! o(^▽^)o

 ** _yongie (_** ** _✿_** **_♥_** ** _‿_** ** _♥_** ** _):_** welcome to this chat, jaemin!! nice to meet you! (°◡°♡).:｡

 ** _ten out of 10:_** omg will you ever stop using these cringy emojis istg

 ** _ten out of 10:_** also hi @ jaemin ig

 ** _jaehyunnie (_** ** _ノ_** ** _*_** ** _゜_** ** _▽_** ** _゜_** ** _*):_** no we won’t (∗´꒳ `) what are you gonna do about it

 ** _mork:_** ten stop being jealous challenge: failed

 ** _ten out of 10:_** pfft i’m not jealous

 ** _ten out of 10:_** i’d rather be single forever than have.. this

 ** _oh! joHNNY:_** wow ten got out on the wrong side of the bed today

 ** _oh! joHNNY:_** you’re just mad i won the dance battle against you

 ** _ten out of 10:_** nah lmao i let you win on purpose

 ** _mork:_** i ship it

 ** _nana:_** hello everyone! i’m jaemin and i’ve transferred to this school

 ** _nana:_** thank you for adding me to this groupchat jaehyung-hyung i appreciate it a lot

 ** _jaehyunnie (_** ** _ノ_** ** _*_** ** _゜_** ** _▽_** ** _゜_** ** _*):_** oh my god, yongie he’s so adorable

 ** _jaehyunnie (_** ** _ノ_** ** _*_** ** _゜_** ** _▽_** ** _゜_** ** _*):_** can we pls adopt him ٩(^ᴗ^)۶

 ** _yongie (_** ** _✿_** **_♥_** ** _‿_** ** _♥_** ** _):_** yes please!! he’s so cute uwu

 ** _nana:_** i guess ill have to convinve my mum first

 ** _nana:_** but you could buy me lunch tomorrow

 ** _yongie (_** ** _✿_** **_♥_** ** _‿_** ** _♥_** ** _):_** of course we will!!! right jaehyunnie?

 ** _jaehyunnie (_** ** _ノ_** ** _*_** ** _゜_** ** _▽_** ** _゜_** ** _*):_** you betcha! send us your timetable and we’ll pick you up before lunch ( ˘ ³˘)♥

 ** _mork:_** woah what just happened??

 ** _mork:_** they never bought me lunch??? and we’ve been friends for years???????

 ** _hyuck carey:_** im sure theres a reason for that

 ** _mork:_** aren’t you supposed to like

 ** _mork:_** defend me

 ** _ten out of 10_** : hyuck your new username is so lame i cant believe were fr*ends

 

Ten had no idea what was currently happening on TV. The others occasionally laughed at jokes or funny scenes and Ten furrowed his eyebrows at that, trying to make out what exactly was that hilarious that Mark had doubled over, wiping tears out of the corner of his eye.

Sure, if Ten actually paid attention, he maybe would have understood what was going on. But with Johnny’s hand absently touching his shoulder and drawing random patterns, Ten found it pretty hard to concentrate on anything else. Johnny’s scent was invading his nose; his after-shave but also something uniquely Johnny.

He fell asleep after the credits of the fourth episode rolled, and with the soundtrack being a slow ballad, the soft voice of the singer slowly lulling him to sleep.

 

///

 

When Ten slowly woke up, the sun had already set and the TV had been turned off. He was still lying on the couch, but Johnny was gone and a blanket was draped over him. He sat up and looked around.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Mark’s voice said from behind him. He was wearing oven gloves and he waved at the other. “Dinner’s ready.”

Wait, dinner? “What’s the time?” Ten asked groggily, his vocal cords protesting and he swallowed a few times.

“It’s shortly after 7,” Mark said. “Hyuckie left an hour ago.”

Ten groaned and wiped his eyes, desperately trying to get the sleep out of his eyes. He hadn’t meant to stay that long.

“You can sleep here if you want. It’s probably too late for you to walk home by yourself,” Johnny said, walking out of the bathroom. Ten felt it wasn’t important to point out that Mark and Johnny shared a car, so he actually wouldn’t have to walk home.

Ten looked up and realised Johnny was dressed in nothing but a towel loosely wrapped around his waist, and Ten briefly wondered when exactly he had become part of the cheesy rom-com they had watched earlier. No matter how often Ten had been greeted – no, blessed – by this sight, he still found it very difficult not to stare at Johnny’s toned body.

Mark seemed to realise the shift of Ten’s attention and gave the Thai a smug look before he told Johnny to get dressed.

“So, are you gonna stay?” Mark asked him, getting a bottle of coke out of the fridge.

“I guess so,” Ten shrugged. He stood up, stretching his arms over his head and winced when some joints popped into place. “What’s for dinner?”

“Frozen pizza was the only thing we had here which is enough for three people. – And don’t worry, there’s no pineapple on yours,” Mark laughed.

“Pineapple on pizza is gross anyway,” Ten grumbled and went into the kitchen space, which was attached to the living room.

Mark just shook his head. “You’re just saying that because you’re a fructophobe,” he reasoned and pushed Ten onto a chair.

“I wouldn’t eat pineapples on pizza either way. It’s called common sense,” Ten shot back.

Johnny returned shortly after, this time dressed. “Sleep well?” he asked as he took a seat as well as Mark.

“Only because you make such a good pillow to sleep on,” Ten replied sweetly, taking a bite from a slice of his pizza.

Mark snorted at that but decided not to comment on it and dug in as well. He started talking about his latest recording session with Taeyong and a few others, and how he couldn’t wait to upload it on their collectively used SoundCloud.

“Taeyong and I worked on the lyrics during the holidays and we recorded it at this studio in our school,” Mark told them excitedly. “It was a pain trying to get them to allow us to use the equipment when no one else was there, but we managed to convince them anyway. I think it was Dongyoung who got us the permission, although I don’t want to know how he did that...”

The silence which followed the statement was partially interrupted by the glasses hitting the table, before Mark took the word again, this time talking about his visit to Canada. Leave it to Mark for single-handedly entertaining everyone else in the room. A few times he let slip a few words in his mother tongue before he decided to just fully talk in English.

“One day, I wanna take Donghyuck with me. He’s always wanted to know what it looks like in Canada and where I was born,” Mark said with a dreamy smile on his face and Ten just realised how whipped he was for the younger one.

The topic was still sensitive for Ten and Johnny, but even if it made Johnny uncomfortable, he didn’t let it show.

“I’m just nervous about him meeting my family back in Canada, you know. My parents are the only ones who know that I’m with another boy, but they advised me not to tell the others, and I’m scared they’d get the wrong idea,” the youngest continued on rambling.

“Did you talk about this with Donghyuck already?” Johnny asked.

“No, I actually wanted to surprise him. I wanted to start working somewhere so I could pay for the plane tickets,” came the answer.

“Oh, you could start working at the same café as me,” Johnny suggested. “Some dude just got fired so you have pretty good chances, I think.”

“I think it’s a cute idea to surprise him with something like that,” Ten commented. “Maybe you can ask the kids to subtly ask Donghyuck if he’d be okay with that.”

Mark wriggled his finger in front of Ten’s face. “Nice idea, Ten, thank you.”

They finished their food but just continued sitting for a little longer, feeling too full to do anything else for the moment anyway.

“I’ve wanted to ask you earlier,” Mark started, directed at Ten. “You went to the pride parade in N-Y-C, right? And did you meet someone? Like, meet.”

Mark’s eyes had a weird sparkle and Ten immediately knew Mark wasn’t genuinely interested in what he had to say, he just wanted to see Ten suffer while he’d somehow explain how Johnny was the only one for him.

Ten rolled his eyes at the other before he cleared his throat. “I hooked up with someone if you must know.”

Which wasn’t that far from the truth. He had met a guy called Mike in a grocery shop, where Ten had wanted to get some food before he’d join the parade again; there had been so many people, that Ten hadn’t really worried he wouldn’t be able to find them again.

Mike was a nice guy. He was tall, with brown hair and kind eyes and his biceps were to die for. He had shown interest in Ten as well, and they chatted a little bit before Mike had pressed him against a wall of a back alley, attacking him with his lips.

Ten had enjoyed it, really. But before things had gone too far though, Ten had pushed the other male away from him. Mike seemed confused at first but apparently believed Ten’s half-assed excuse that the alcohol he had drunk before made him dizzy. That didn’t stop Mike from giving Ten his number and telling him to call him when he was feeling better.

Ten had never called him, though. It somehow felt wrong and he knew it had something to do with Johnny. However, he refrained from telling Mark the whole story for obvious reasons.

Mark seemed to be surprised by the answer and he blinked quickly. “Woah, I didn’t expect that.”

“You see, usually people’s love lives go further than slurping on watermelons,” Ten retorted and Mark’s went wide at that.

“Excuse me? That was a low blow.” He glared at the Thai.

“Alright, that’s enough, guys,” Johnny interrupted before their argument would escalate.

Ten stuck his tongue out at Mark before he stood up to help clean the table. Mark did the same, and in no time, the kitchen looked like there hadn’t been three almost adults eating as if they were starving.

Afterwards, Johnny dragged Ten into his room before he could complain and began rummaging through his closet before threw a mismatched pair of blanket and pillow onto his own double-bed.

Usually, Ten would offer to sleep on the couch, but it was like an unspoken rule between the two of them that neither would sleep on the couch but just share a bed. It had been like that since they had become friends all those years ago, and Ten was grateful Johnny hadn’t stopped cuddling him even after they grew up and Ten came out.

However, the moment Johnny threw his strong arm around Ten’s middle, his other arm functioning as a pillow for Ten’s head, he wished Johnny had refused to initiate skinship with him because of his sexuality. It didn’t help that everything smelled of Johnny and how his warm breath tickled the nape of Ten’s neck in the best way possible.

Ten couldn’t help the content sigh which escaped his lips and he snuggled into the other’s embrace. If he couldn’t fully have Johnny to himself, Ten thought, he could at least enjoy little moments like this.

His last thoughts before he fell asleep were that he hoped Mark wouldn’t find them like this tomorrow.

 

///

 

In the morning, Ten was glad the two of them had the same class in the morning or else he would have probably slept in until noon.

What he wasn’t that glad about was how Johnny had set his alarm for half-past five in the morning.

They had separated from their cuddles over the night but Johnny was still invading Ten’s side of the bed and Ten tried climbing over Johnny’s body to turn the blaring alarm off.

“Shut the fuck up,” he mumbled to no one in particular and Johnny chuckled under him. Ten found it unfair how Johnny just had to reach over to his nightstand and switch the alarm off, while he practically had to do gymnastics this early.

“You’re cute when you’re grumpy,” Johnny teased and he pushed Ten off of him to get up. The light coming from the little lamp in the corner practically burned his eyes and Ten groaned, squeezing his eyes shut.

“I’m always cute,” Ten retorted and let himself fall back into his pillow. “Why are you already getting up? It’s in the middle of the night.”

“I’m gonna run a bit before school starts. You’re invited to come with me,” Johnny said and began changing into a tracksuit.

Of course, he was going to exercise this early, Ten thought bitterly. How else would he be able to have such a fit body? Ten wondered if he was ever going to able to get over him.

“You can’t expect me to move this early,” Ten said and pulled the blanket up to his chin.

Johnny chuckled and smiled at the other. “I would have been surprised,” he said. “I’ll see you in a bit then. Oh and I’ll tell Mark to pack your lunch as well.”

Ten just nodded, his brain already back into sleep mode. He didn’t even realise Johnny turning off the lamp or leaving the room, sleep overtaking him once again.

It felt just seconds later when the door opened and something hard and loud was thrown onto the bed.

Ten realised it as his own phone, his alarm going off at full volume.

“It’s been going like this for almost five minutes, are you dead or something?” Mark’s groggy voice asked. The light coming from the hallway and Ten’s lacking sense of vision made the younger look almost threatening. With the way he was standing in the door, his hands on his hips, Ten felt strangely reminded of his mother.

“I’m sorry I can’t hear through doors when I’m asleep,” Ten answered and made attempts of getting out of bed. That turned out to be very difficult, a voice telling Ten to just stay in bed all day long and skip school.

“Long night, huh?” Mark asked and the smug tone in his voice was enough for Ten’s brain to sober up and he glared at the other.

“Fuck off,” he told him and Mark just laughed and left the room. But not before turning the main lights on and leaving the door wide open, since he apparently wanted to get killed by Ten.

Ten threw Thai curses at him but he had to admit, he was fully awake now. He got into his uniform from the day before and a white shirt he found in Johnny’s closet which was not Johnny’s but he put it on nonetheless. And it wasn’t long before Johnny returned from his morning jog and went straight into the bathroom to shower.

Mark was in the kitchen, dressed in a gown and drinking coffee from a large cup. He acknowledged Ten’s presence with a raised eyebrow.

“Isn’t that my shirt?”

Ten shrugged. “I look better in it anyways.”

 

Ten called himself a rather tolerant person. Sure, he didn’t always agree with anyone’s opinions, but he didn’t pick a fight over them but made sure to persuade the other person with arguments that his opinion was the right one.

He was more a diplomatic kind of person, not fond of starting arguments over petty things, and the last time he had been actively involved in a fight was in ninth grade when someone had called him a fag and told him to go to hell.

However, sitting with three way too happy people in a small car and having to endure off-key singing before nine was really testing his patience.

Even though he was sitting in the passenger’s seat and had the control over the music, and Donghyuck and Mark were sitting in the back, he decided against just turning off the music. He’d probably either get smacked by Donghyuck for cutting off his boyfriend’s rap or get scolded by Mark for taking his baby’s chance of demonstrating his vocal range. And that vocal range was a lot.

So he sat there with crossed arms, not even bothering to hide his scowl and glaring at the two through the rearview mirror, hoping it’d shut them up. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

Johnny next to him was smiling to himself for some reason, his eyes on the road.

“You’ll get used to it,” Johnny told him, and how the fuck could he be that calm?

“I doubt it, I’ll never share a car with any of you again,” Ten promised. “It’s been ten minutes and I’m already contemplating throwing myself out of the window. And school hasn’t even started.”

“Stop being such a sissy,” Donghyuck said from behind him.

Ten whipped his head around, making a bone in his neck he didn’t know he possessed, crack with a disgusting sound. “Stop being so goddamn annoying and disrespectful, brat.”

Donghyuck just ran his tongue over his teeth and leaned back in his seat. Ten barely had enough time to wonder why Donghyuck didn’t try to defend himself, before Mark’s scolding started.

“I let you sleep in my apartment, made you dinner, woke you up today, and this is how you show you’re grateful? I even made you lunch!” Mark truly sounded offended as if he had been the one was called out by Ten.

“Quit it, Mark,” Johnny suddenly interfered. “You two could actually tone it down a bit.”

Now it was Ten’s turn to smile triumphantly. So what if Donghyuck had Mark who stood up for him? Ten always had Johnny on his side and no one dared to talk back to him. They really would be that couple.

 

The day went by like a blur, just like the day after that and before Ten could even blink, Friday was over and it was the weekend. Luckily, the teachers had barely given them any homework yet, so Ten invited Taeyong on Saturday to help him flat hunting.

Taeyong was known by many people, but he also knew a lot of people, and Ten trusted him that he’d pull enough of his strings for Ten to get the best apartment to the best price.

“Do you already know what you are looking for?” Taeyong asked him as he stepped into Ten’s apartment.

“Yeah, a flat,” Ten replied and guided Taeyong into his living room.

Taeyong shot him a look. “Well duh. I meant if you had any special wishes.”

“I don’t, actually.” The Thai shrugged. “Like, I just want a new apartment where I’m not afraid the person living above of me will crash through the ceiling any minute, you know?”

Taeyong hummed and pulled a binder out of his bag pack. Ten’s jaw dropped when he saw how huge it was and he looked at the other with big eyes.

“Before you ask, not all of this is for you. Some of these ads are out-dated from when I helped Jae find his own place to live,” Taeyong answered his unspoken question. “Oh and some of these were for Johnny and Mark.”

“Have you ever considered becoming a broker?” Ten asked as he watched Taeyong flip through the pages consisting of advertisements cut out of the newspaper and printed out websites. And of course, all of them were in alphabetical order because this was Taeyong, and Taeyong didn’t do things by halves.

“Nah, I hate capitalism.”

Apparently, Taeyong found whatever he had been looking for – Ten blushed when he saw there was a whole segment of ads labelled for Ten with a heart – and he shoved the binder into Ten’s direction, tapping on a page.

“This flat here is in the same street as the dance studio, so that would be convenient for you. The building is attached to an inner yard where you’re also allowed to have barbecue parties and stuff like that.” Taeyong paused and Ten was afraid of what was to come. “Disadvantages, though, are that it’s directly located on a busy street and I know how much you value your beauty sleep. And the rent isn’t ideal either.”

“Tell me, it can’t be that bad,” Ten insisted and almost fell off his chair when Taeyong revealed the price. “They can’t be expecting anyone to pay that much for that little space! You’re right, fuck capitalism.”

Taeyong chuckled at Ten’s antics and flipped the page over. This time he made sure to tell Ten the place beforehand.

“This one is actually pretty nice. It’s a bit outside the city but it’s a ten minute trip with the bus far from our school. The neighbourhood is also said to be very nice and open. – Oh and look, it even has photos.”

Ten scanned the photos carefully. The rooms were still furnished from the former users, but Ten didn’t mind; he found it easier like this to imagine him living there actually. He almost declared that he’d take the apartment when his eyes landed on a photo of the living room where a giant bathtub stood.

“What the hell?” he asked and squinted at the photo. “Is the tub really in the living room in front of a giant window?”

“Oh, I didn’t notice. I guess it is.”

“I’m sorry Taeyong, but that’s a no from me. I’m not that kind of an exhibitionist.”

Taeyong knew better than to argue with his friend over things like this, so he huffed and presented the next apartment.

Throughout the search for an apartment, Ten was glad about how much effort Taeyong had put into his research. Ten knew he wasn’t in a position to be picky about an apartment, but somehow every single suggested apartment had a flaw Ten just couldn’t ignore. His heart sank when he saw they were on the last page of Taeyong’s binder.

The other one was equally demotivated as Ten but he still kept up his presentation.

“I had actually hoped we’d find something you before this apartment. It’s like a plan z, you know?”

Ten just nodded, not wanting to raise his head from where it comfortably laid on his arm. His faith that he’d have a new apartment by the end of the day had gradually shrunk to the tiny shred it was now, and it was the only thing keeping him from just calling it a day.

“It’s located in a side alley, not too far from the centre and it has good transport connections.” He showed Ten photos of the apartment. The rooms were still decorated, but Ten found the rooms had an optimal size and there wasn’t a bathtub in the middle of the kitchen either.

“Now before you say anything, hear me out. I had a reason of hoping I wouldn’t have to show you this.”

Ten lifted his head for the first time in the last hour and waited for Taeyong to elaborate further.

“The flat is meant to be shared by two people. So you’ll have to live with a stranger.” Taeyong looked at Ten with a weird expression, as if Ten would explode any minute, accusing him of suggesting that flat to him.

“Oh, I don’t mind,” Ten said simply, catching Taeyong off-guard. “I just save money that way, and the chances that my partner will be a serial killer are pretty low.”

Taeyong pursed his lips. “This went better than expected.”

“Alright, so when can I move in?”

“There’s a catch. You, um, can’t move in until next year.”

Ten furrowed his eyebrows at that. “Not until next year? But it’s only August.”

“Exactly,” Taeyong confirmed and nodded. “That’s also why I wanted to keep this option from you.”

Ten slumped back into his seat and sighed. “I mean, I’ve been living here for too long, I’ll survive these couple months as well. But can’t you do anything? I bet you know the landlord yourself.”

“The only thing I can do is make him lower the rent a bit. The landlord owes me one because I used to tutor his daughter so she could study medicine. But the contract of the current owners expires in early January, so you’ll have to wait till then. If you don’t want to wait that long, I understand, and I’ll look for some more apartments.”

Ten quickly shook his head. “No, no, you don’t have to do more researches, I already feel bad, Yong. I think I’ll wait it out, it’s worth it.”

Taeyong smiled at him, obviously pleased with the outcome. Ten was glad as well, that he found somewhere to live in. It made it more bearable having to endure his current living situation.

Taeyong pulled the sheets out of his binder, highlighted the most important data with a pastel marker pen before he handed it to Ten.

“Oh Gosh, would you look at the time?” Taeyong suddenly exclaimed

.    

 

Ten looked at the time on his phone, and he gulped when he saw how late it was, and that it had already gradually become darker.

“Don’t worry, Jaehyun’s gonna pick me up,” Taeyong chuckled when he saw the worry on Ten’s face. “Oh, by the way, Jaehyun told me to invite you to dinner, if you don’t have any other plans today.”

“Are you sure—“

“I wouldn’t have asked, if I didn’t want you to come, would I? Now, come on, pack your stuff.”

Ten followed the order without talk-backs, and fifteen minutes later they stood outside of the building, waiting for Jaehyun to pull up in his car. Neither Ten nor Taeyong initiated conversation, just standing next to each other and basking in the moonlight. Ten’s heart ached when he saw the way Taeyong’s eyes lit up after he spotted his boyfriend’s car rolling up to them.

Ten pretended to check his messages when the couple greeted each other like they hadn’t seen each other for weeks, but Ten made them separate soon enough before Ten’s neighbours would file a complaint.

 

“So, did you find anything useful?” Jaehyun asked over instant ramen, sitting on the couch with his legs crossed, looking at the other two expectantly.

Ten had been excited for what kind of delicacy Jaehyun and Taeyong, the best cooks Ten knew, and yet they had somehow ended up with ramen from the convenience store. Not that he was complaining, though, it still tasted better than anything Ten had had this week.

“We did,” Taeyong told him proudly, earning himself a pat on the head from his boyfriend.

“Hm, let me guess: the one with the bathtub in the living room,” Jaehyun asked.

Ten spluttered and almost choked on his noodles. “No? What kind of person do you think I am?—Actually, don’t answer that, please.”

Jaehyun just chuckled before Taeyong spoke up again, “It’s the one with the flatmate.”

The youngest was fairly surprised by that and he looked at Ten with raised eyebrows. “For real? Honestly, I didn’t expect that.”

Taeyong nodded as well, and Ten recalled how he had kept the flat as the very last option for Ten.

“You guys, I’m getting the impression you’re having a totally wrong picture of me,” Ten declared, balancing the bowl in one hand while he waved around with his other one, almost desperately.

The two just laughed, shared a meaningful glance before they continued to eat their meal in silence.

In some way, Ten managed to resist the pleading eyes and words of both Jaehyun and Taeyong, begging him to stay for the night. Ten knew the two of them would like to spend some time alone, seeing this was one of the few weekends where Taeyong didn’t bury himself in responsibilities, and while he appreciated the offer, he didn’t want to be a bother to them. In the end, they settled for Jaehyun driving him home.

The ride was silent for exactly one minute before Jaehyun couldn’t take it any longer. “You know, Taeyong’s told me about—about Johnny,” he started and Ten fought the instinctive reaction to roll his eyes.

“Look,” the older started after a deep breath. “I know bottling up my feelings isn’t exactly the best thing to do. But it works like this. We’re good, and I don’t wanna do anything to fuck that up.”

“I get that, believe me, but have you considered—“

 “I have considered telling him, believe me, I have. There were many times where I almost told him. But Jaehyun, not everyone has the fortune of the love of their life loving them back. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that you and Taeyong worked out so well, and you still feel like on the first day, but it’s not like that for everyone, okay?”

Jaehyun went quiet for a minute and Ten instantly regretted his words.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound that harsh. It’s just ... it just sucks. This one-sided attraction sucks, and I want it to end,” Ten mumbled.

He wasn’t really good at talking about his feelings. He was actually more used to store them up inside and deal with them himself. But Jaehyun was a good listener and a kind friend, and he’d drop anything to help his friends with their troubles.

Also, Ten had been there when Jaehyun had developed feelings for Taeyong in the early days, and perhaps this was his way of thanking Ten for helping him out.

“Don’t worry, I understand, it must be frustrating,” Jaehyun replied smiled at the older one. “What I wanted to say is that I don’t think Johnny would have a problem with it. Like, sure it would probably be awkward between you two, but I think that would be mostly because of you? And there’s still the chance he likes you back.”

Ten scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

“But honestly, Ten, do something about it. Taeyong is concerned about you, as well as the rest. You may pretend to be all cool around Johnny, but everyone sees it. The lingering glances and hopeful looks you throw him whenever he doesn’t look.”

“Am I really that obvious?” Ten asked, his voice barely over a whisper.

“You are,” Jaehyun told him with a pitiful tone.

Ten swallowed. And then after a moment of consideration, “I guess I could tell him about. It wouldn’t change anything between the two of us, right?”

“I’m sure, it won’t,” Jaehyun reassured him. “So when are you going to tell him?”

“In a year? Eleven months, if I’m feeling really bold.”

“Ten!” Jaehyun exclaimed. “You’re unbelievable.”

 

///

 

Ten had promised himself to confess to Johnny. Or rather he had promised to Jaehyun, and Taeyong and basically everyone else of his friends. And it wasn’t like there hadn’t been any opportunities for him to drop the bombshell. In fact, there had been enough.

One time, Ten decided to visit the café Johnny was working at, definitely not using the fact that he always got free coffee if it was Johnny’s shift. And well, Johnny just looked so good in his stupid uniform which had stains all over it, and his stupid hat which laid askew on his head, and the way Johnny smiled at Ten when he handed him his order he knew by heart by now, Ten just couldn’t hold it for any longer.

“Johnny?” he breathed.

Johnny looked up, a questioning look on his face. “Yeah?”

Ten’s lips had already around the words, the three oh-so meaningful words, and looking into Johnny’s eyes, he knew that this was what he wanted—

“Johnny! I think the coffee machine is broken,” called Mark from behind the counter, coffee all over his pants and shirt, his big doe eyes pleading for the older to help him.

And when Johnny actually left—because this was Johnny, of course, he’d help anyone—Ten was furious. He wasn’t blaming Johnny, Mark if anyone, but mostly he was mad at himself. He was mad at himself because he was glad about the interruption, happy that he wouldn’t have to confess to Johnny and reveal his feelings for the other. Because even though he pretended to be so confident and not interested what others thought of him, Johnny somehow managed to tear down the walls of defence he had been building up since the first time he had gotten heartbroken. Just one look of Johnny and Ten was like an open book to him.

The next opportunity was a little bit more private. Mark was accompanying Donghyuck on his vocal lessons, which meant Ten and Johnny were alone in the apartment. Lying in Johnny’s bed, they both were occupied with their phones, Ten stalking his twitter followers while Johnny assumedly watched cute animal videos, if his coos were any indication.

“Do you ever think about how weird it is that we have known each other for so many years?” Johnny asked suddenly.

Ten nodded quickly, agreeing. “I know, right? It’s so odd imagining my life without you,” he admitted, biting on his lips to keep himself from saying anything dumb without thinking.

“Oh, come on,” the American laughed. “You’re just saying that, aren’t you?”

“I swear I’m not.”

“Well, the same goes for me, Tennie. Really, you’re the best thing that has happened to me.” Gentle brown eyes met his, and Ten curled into Johnny’s hoodie he was wearing, trying to escape the soft look of the other.

He knew this was a perfect opportunity to confess to the other, but still, Ten couldn’t bring himself to do it. He didn’t know what he was so scared of. Maybe it was the fear of Johnny not accepting the fact that his best friend had been in love with him for years. He didn’t want to lose Johnny over something stupid like this, even if it meant to bottle up his true feelings which would eventually make him implode.

“I’m glad you think so as well,” he just said, smiled at Johnny before he went back to stalking people on Twitter.

 

///

 

It was a cold day in December. All leaves had finally fallen off the trees, the streets were busy with people purchasing last-minute Christmas gifts, exam season was finally over for most of the students. And Ten felt amazing.

He didn’t know if it was because of Taeyong treating him a coffee after their maths exam, or because of Taeil suddenly entering the café and accompanying them on their date, but he was definitely having the best day of his life.

“How’s university?” Taeyong asked Taeil who broke out into a smile and began rambling about his class and his teacher and how happy he was about his decision to study music.

“By the way, Ten, have you told Johnny yet?” the oldest suddenly demanded and Ten stared at him with big eyes before he narrowed his eyes at Taeyong.

The now pink-haired boy raised his hands defensively and stammered at an excuse. “I—I’m sorry, I just thought he wanted to be included in the whole thing as well. Everyone else knows as well.”

Taeil calmed Ten down with a reassuring hand on his arm. “As Johnny’s second best friend, you can trust me when I tell you to just go for it. Believe me, you won’t regret it.”

Ten cocked his head to the side. “The last time I trusted you I had patchy red and black hair for months. And it looked horrible,” he accused the older who grinned at the memory.

“Touché, but seriously, trust me,” Taeil insisted.

“It’s useless, we’ve been trying to persuade him for weeks, but he’s too stubborn. You know him,” Taeyong told Taeil as if Ten wasn’t right next to them.

“As if it’s that easy,” Ten protested. “I can’t just go to him and tell I’ve been in love with him for years.”

“Why not?” Taeil and Taeyong asked in unison.

“Well... because! –Can we talk about something else?”

Just when Taeil wanted to talk about a drama he had watched recently, the door of the café opened and Johnny’s tall figure stumbled in. He spotted his three friends and walked over to them. Taeil got up as Johnny had approached their table to hug him.

“Well, I gotta go now, my lunch break is almost over,” Taeil declared after looking at his watch.

“Oh, right, me too, Jaehyun’s waiting for me,” Taeyong added and stood up as well. He threw a couple of bills onto the table, telling Johnny to buy himself a drink as well.

Ten glared at the two because Taeil had told them earlier how happy he was that he didn’t have any classes today, and Taeyong had complained about how sad he was since Jaehyun was busy all day. Taeyong just grinned and blew him a silly hand kiss.

The two said goodbye and left.

Ten watched Johnny as he ordered a hot chocolate with whipped cream and he couldn’t help but grin when Johnny smiled at the waiter.

“Well, someone’s in a good mood today,” Johnny commented when he spotted Ten beaming like an idiot.

“You have no idea,” Ten retorted and leaned his head on his palm. “Actually, there’s something I want to, uh, tell you.”

This time, he told himself, this time I won’t back off.

“Oh, me too. What a coincidence,” Johnny laughed. “I’ve been meaning to for a while, but I didn’t know how to tell you.”

Oh, Ten definitely liked the direction where this was going. Because it wasn’t like he was completely oblivious. He had noticed how Johnny was touchier with him than with anyone else, and he had also seen the way Johnny looked at him sometimes.

So, while he remained calm and collected on the outside, he was vibrating internally. He just wanted to run around the place, high-five every guest and thank God for making him such a happy man, because there was no way Johnny was going to tell him something else than what he thought. Incredible how just a few words managed to make him the happiest person in the world.

“I can assure you, it won’t change anything between us,” Ten said with a smile, and stirred in his coffee to keep his shaking and sweaty hands occupied.

“You don’t know how glad I am to hear that. I was worried I’d lose you as a friend over this,” Johnny admitted. “So, you wanna say it first?”

Ten just waved with a hand. “No, no, you can go first.”

“Well,” Johnny cleared his throat and shuffled around in his seat as if he was sitting on hot stones. “I, uh, I have a girlfriend.”

Ten’s heart stopped. The spoon in Ten’s hand fell back into the cup, the rattling sound the only thing Ten could hear over the rush of blood in his ears. It seemed like the world had gone mute as Ten continued to stare at his friend in absolute horror. “You _what_ ?”

“Please, remember what you said earlier, it won’t change a thing between us. Bros before hoes, right?” Johnny pleaded and he looked frightened

Ten nodded and swallowed dryly. “Yeah, of course, we’re bros,” he mumbled.

“And what did you want to tell me?” Johnny asked.

“I really should have gone first,” Ten muttered before he pulled himself together and raised his head to meet Johnny’s eyes. “Johnny Suh, I’m in love with you.”

And to spare himself Johnny’s look of shock or maybe even disgust, he got up and left the café. He ignored Johnny calling after him and just kept on running away from him.

Of course, Johnny would have a girlfriend. It wasn’t like Johnny belonged to him or anything, and he didn’t even know if Johnny was interested in men as well.

Angrily, Ten wiped the tears away and let his legs carry him home.

///

 

[7:56 pm]

_[ten out of 10 has created the chat ‘ALL MEN ARE TRASH’.]_

_[ten out of 10 has added jaehyunnie (_ _ノ_ _*_ _゜_ _▽_ _゜_ _*), yongie (_ _✿_ _♥_ _‿_ _♥_ _), mork and 7 others.]_

****

**_ten out of 10:_** he has a girlfriend i want to kill myself

 

 ** _Moon Taeil:_** He has a what now?

 ** _Moon Taeil:_** He did not tell me about that, Ten. I swear I had no idea. I am so sorry.

 

 ** _yongie (_** ** _✿_** **_♥_** ** _‿_** ** _♥_** ** _):_** i’m so so sorry tennie! you must feel horrible right now :(

 

 ** _the Mom_** ** _Ô_** ** _:_** what’s her name? :)

 

 ** _ten out of 10:_** as much as i appreciate the offer please don’t go kill innocent people !

 

 ** _mork:_** yo according to my very reliable sources her name is han daeun

 

 ** _ten out of 10:_** let me guess your reliable source is facebook?

 

 ** _mork:_** hyuck’s facebook

 

 ** _ten out of 10:_** ugh mark did you really have to drag him into this?

 ** _ten out of 10:_** hes never gonna let me live this down

 

 ** _mork:_**  he promised not to make fun of you

 ** _mork:_** he also said he didn’t agree with the name of the chat

 ** _mork:_** and i quote “not all men. mark lee would never”

 

 ** _ten out of 10:_** okay fine add him then

 ** _ten out of 10:_** but i swear if you start acting all lovey-dovey and shit you’re gonna get kicked out

 ** _ten out of 10:_** a bitch is depressed B)

 

_[mork has added hyuck carey to the chat.]_

 

 ** _hyuck carey:_** so who’s gonna kick johnnys ass??

 

 ** _ten out of 10:_** guys we talked about this no one is kicking no one’s ass

 ** _ten out of 10:_** this isn’t his fault

 ** _ten out of 10:_** it’s mine because i was so dumb to think he’d like me back

 

 ** _yongie (_** ** _✿_** **_♥_** ** _‿_** ** _♥_** ** _):_** you’re not dumb

 ** _yongie (_** ** _✿_** **_♥_** ** _‿_** ** _♥_** ** _):_** no one could have known he didn’t feel the same as you

 ** _yongie (_** ** _✿_** **_♥_** ** _‿_** ** _♥_** ** _):_** if it makes you feel better, i thought he had a crush on you as well

 

 ** _mork:_** yeah me too

 

 ** _sicheng’s #1 fan:_** ^^^

 

 ** _ten out of 10:_** thanks guys

 ** _ten out of 10:_** i guess

 

 ** _hyuck carey:_** dongyoung’s been quiet for a while

 

 ** _ten out of 10:_** oh god please don’t tell me hes really threatening her

 

 ** _the Mom_** ** _Ô_** ** _:_** chill i was just stalking her social media

 

 ** _ten out of 10:_**.

 ** _ten out of 10:_** what’s her @

 

 ** _the Mom_** ** _Ô_** ** _:_** daeunhan2103

 

 ** _ten out of 10:_** hang on

 ** _ten out of 10:_** correct me if i’m wrong

 ** _ten out of 10:_** but wasn’t she the one with some girl’s tongue down her throat a week ago or so??

 

 ** _mork:_** oh god you’re right

 

 ** _hyuck carey:_** i helped them hide from the librarian smh this is what i get for being nice once

 

 ** _ten out of 10:_** but what does this mean

 

 ** _the Mom_** ** _Ô_** ** _:_** well considering that almost everyone of her family is super religious i’d say she’s using johnny to hide the fact she likes girls

 

 ** _ten out of 10:_** not even gonna ask how you know that

 

 ** _hyuck carey:_** bi and pan people exist!!

 

 ** _ten out of 10:_** true but i’ve never seen her with guy like t h a t so i’m just gonna go and assume she’s gay

 

 ** _not fat kun:_** hi i just read the messages, and i wanna say i’m so so sorry for you ten

 ** _not fat kun:_** second of all how dare she?

 

 ** _mork:_** what are you gonna do ten?

 

 ** _ten out of 10:_** idk

 ** _ten out of 10:_** i guess i have to tell him?

 ** _ten out of 10:_** like it won’t change a thing, but i also dont want him get hurt eventually

 ** _ten out of 10:_** if i can’t have him so can’t some fake straightie

 

 ** _yongie (_** ** _✿_** **_♥_** ** _‿_** ** _♥_** ** _):_** that’s the spirit!!

 ** _yongie (_** ** _✿_** **_♥_** ** _‿_** ** _♥_** ** _):_** just remember, we’re always here to help you

 

 ** _ten out of 10:_** thanks <3

 ** _ten out of 10:_** but i think this is something i have to do on my own

 

 ** _yongie (_** ** _✿_** **_♥_** ** _‿_** ** _♥_** ** _):_** of course! do what you know is right

 

_[hyuck carey has changed the chat name from ‘ALL MEN ARE TRASH’ to ‘SAVE JOHNTEN 2K18’.]_

**_mork:_** amen.

****

///

 

Nevermind the fact that Ten knew Johnny’s was basically being cheated on, it was very hard to look at him in school the next day. Seeing Johnny being happy with someone else, and in addition, calling that someone his girlfriend just made something in Ten’s chest ache. He believed that this was where his heart was located.

And since Ten couldn’t stand the look of these two people together, holding hands and laughing all the time, he avoided them as good as he could and skipped the classes he shared with Johnny. In hindsight, it wasn’t too wise to skip classes just to avoid your crush who had also broken your heart, but at this moment, Ten didn’t know what else to do.

After the second day of avoiding Johnny and everyone else, Ten had a thirteen-hour-long nap, trying to sleep away his problems. Of course, it didn’t help. If any, he only felt more miserable afterwards, with a broken heart and smelly breath wasn’t exactly a good combination.

Looking at his phone, he didn’t only realise that he had forgotten to charge it, but he also saw the missed calls and messages from Johnny. Suddenly he felt bad. It wasn’t like Johnny had known about Ten’s feelings, so Ten didn’t have any right to be mad at Johnny for being in a relationship.

But still, it fucking hurt.

After contemplating for a good minute, he decided to play the voicemail Johnny had left him. There was a moment of silence and Ten already thought Johnny had recorded the message accidentally before he heard the other’s voice.

“Ten,” Johnny said. “I’m sorry.—And I know if you were here, you’d tell me it wasn’t my fault, but I’m doing it anyway.” Johnny chuckled and Ten suppressed a grin himself. “Also don’t think I didn’t realise you avoiding me, contrary to your belief I’m not that much of an idiot. But please make sure to come back again, I don’t want you skipping class because of me, got it?

“I know this topic is a little sensitive for you, but I just want you to hear my story as well. So please don’t just delete the message... for me?

“So, Daeun and I, we’ve been dating for about a few weeks now. And before you say anything, I had my reasons! I knew you were gonna act like this—okay, I didn’t know you had... I didn’t know how you felt for me, but you’ve always been the jealous type.” Johnny laughed again before he continued. “Do you remember the time when I’ve been doing a lot with Jaehyun in like, ninth grade, and you got so jealous and envious of how much time he got to spend with me? And then you tried to make me jealous by having sleep-overs with Taeyong almost every day.

“So, basically, I knew this was gonna happen. And I didn’t wanna lose you as my best friend over something like a relationship. Just like you, I can’t imagine a life without you by my side.

“Can you, uh, please call me back Tennie?”

Ten didn’t call him back. (And only partly because it was three in the morning.)

In fact, it took him another couple days for him to be able to speak to Johnny without feeling the need to tear out his hair.

 

After a free period spent with Donghyuck and Renjun, he saw Johnny and Daeun sitting outside on the campus, on a bench. They were laughing at something—probably at one of Johnny’s jokes because even though they were dumb, they made everyone laugh. Johnny had his arm around Daeun’s narrow shoulders, and one hand was brushing a strand of hair out of her hair and leaned down to kiss her. For some reason, Ten couldn’t look away and like that, he got to witness Daeun avoiding Johnny as she turned her head so he kissed her on the cheek instead. Ten didn’t need to be close to see the irritation on Johnny’s face, but he quickly faked a smile to put her at ease.

To some extent, Ten could understand her. She was undoubtedly in a difficult situation, not being able to be herself. Ten himself didn’t have the most tolerant parents either, sure they had accepted their son being gay, but with difficulties. And he could also imagine by pretending to be in a relationship with a man, she would hurt herself.

So, in conclusion, Ten could very well feel her. But there was one hook: and that hook was that she hurt Johnny by feigning interest in him. And that realisation made him stomp over to the “couple”, hands on his hips as he glared at Daeun.

“Did you really think no one would notice your act, Daeun?” he snapped at the girl who looked at him with big brown eyes. “That you’re just using Johnny here as an alibi to hide the fact you’re interested in girls?”

“Ten what—,” Johnny started but Ten silenced with his hand.

“Johnny, you might not have realised but I and the others have. We’ve found out that your lovely girlfriend is just pretending to be into you, while she rather makes out with girls in the library,” Ten told Johnny with a smug grin.

“I—I don’t know what you are talking about,” Daeun stammered and got up. She ran into the building and it seemed like she was crying.

“What the fuck was that?” Johnny almost yelled at Ten, and oh gosh, Johnny really was angry if he even cursed. To make it worse, Johnny rose up to his full height, towering over Ten, and the younger swallowed.

“I was just telling you the truth, Johnny,” Ten said quietly. “I didn’t want you to get hurt by her.”

Johnny laughed but it didn’t reach his eyes and it rather reminded Ten of an animal baring its teeth. Scaredly, the Thai moved a step back.

“Do you know what this looks like for me, Ten?” he asked and Ten almost wanted to say ‘no’, afraid of the answer. “Well, it looks like you can’t fucking bear the thought of me being in a relationship, while you are in love with me. I wouldn’t have had a problem with being friends after your confession, I really wouldn’t have. And I also totally understand that you avoided me for a while, believe me. But that you’re going and trying to ruin my relationship? That’s just damn low, Ten.”

Ten opened his mouth to protest and tell Johnny that that hadn’t been his intention at all, but apparently, Johnny wasn’t done yet.

“And do you know what upsets—no, what hurts me the most? The fact that you’re not even happy for me. You didn’t say anything like ‘congrats’ to me when I told you. And I know, it was hard for you, but I still can’t believe how selfish you are.”

Ten was taken aback by that. “Okay, listen up. Most of the things were true—kinda. But I didn’t want to ruin your relationship and I’m definitely not selfish!”

“But it looks like that. If you don’t get something you want, you ruin other people’s lives, just like you’ve always done.”

“You take that ba—,” Ten started but Johnny interrupted him again.

“Go away, Ten. I wanna be alone.”

Ten puffed up his chest, cocked his eyebrow before he turned on his heel and left Johnny sitting on the bench.

 

SAVE JOHNTEN 2K18

[1:12 pm]

 

ten out of 10: guys i fucked up

 

 

When Ten arrived home that day, he just threw himself on his bed and cried for a long time.

At some point, Taeyong let himself in and sat down next to Ten and gently stroked his back. That helped the tears die down, safe for a few drops, and he turned around to look up into Taeyong’s face.

“I’m a horrible person,” Ten hiccuped, but Taeyong quickly shook his head.

“You’re not a horrible person, bub. True, your actions may haven’t been smart, but that doesn’t mean you’re fundamentally bad. Let’s not think about that, right now, okay?” Taeyong smiled at him before he gestured at his bag. “I brought hamburgers and ice cream, do you want some?”

Ten just nodded and Taeyong scrambled to his feet to get the food. He protested when Ten made attempts to help, and just told him to get back into the bed and let Taeyong ‘mother’ him (his words).

“I’m just so goddamn selfish,” Ten complained, munching on the cookie dough ice cream and sniffled. “Johnny was right about that, I always  let out my frustration on other people when I don’t get what I want.”

“Well, if you ask me, I don’t think you’re selfish when it comes to Johnny,” Taeyong stated. “You might be, considering everything else—don’t look at me like that, I thought I was supposed, to be honest. Anyways, I think he got the whole thing wrong. Like, you really care for him, and you didn’t want him to get hurt. He was just over-reacting in my opinion.”

Ten smiled him thanks and continued eating way too much for a dancer who was put on a diet from his studio.

“So what are you gonna do now?” Taeyong asked after a while.

Ten shrugged. “I think I’m just not gonna try to save Johnny from getting heartbroken. He made it clear he doesn’t need my help.”

“What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you think you’ll get over it?”

Ten just shrugged again.

 

///

 

With the blink of an eye, Christmas and New Year’s rolled over Seoul, and soon enough, Ten found himself moving into his new apartment. All the furniture of his former apartment had been bought at IKEA which meant he didn’t have any troubles disassembling his bed, his closets etcetera, which made it significantly easier to convey them to his new home.

To be honest, Ten could have used someone like Johnny, tall and muscular, to help him load the car, but ever since their fight, they hadn’t exchanged a single word. But in the end, the others made sure to help him, and Ten decided he didn’t need Johnny anyway. Besides, he wouldn’t have asked him either; they hadn’t talked since their fight, and Ten had even swapped seats with someone so he wouldn’t have had to sit next to Johnny.

The landlord awaited him at the front door of the building to give him the key. He gave Ten including his friends a tour through the apartment, and Ten found out that his new housemate would arrive sometime later. He was kind of sad, honestly, he would have loved to meet them, but he had to wait just a little longer. And at least he got to choose his room, and he chose the smaller one which had a better view onto a park and Ten could also see the setting sun from his new room.

The whole situation still felt surreal to him. The fact that he had a new home, where he actually felt home for once, and which didn’t have weird stains on the wall made him ecstatic and he made sure to thank Taeyong a thousand times and then some.

 

He got introduced to his new roommate a few weeks later. After school, when he had arrived at home as was just about to take a nap, the doorbell rang. It was his landlord who greeted him with a smile and a handshake.

“Hello, Ten. I’m here to make you known with your flatmate.”

Another person who had been out of Ten’s sight came into view. Ten groaned.

“What are you doing here, Johnny?”

“I—I,” Johnny stammered.

The landlord stepped back. “I see you are already familiar with each other. I’m going to leave you two yourselves now. Have a nice day.” And then he left.

“Come in,” Ten mumbled and went into the living room, pretending to be interested in the material of the coffee table.

“I had no idea, that, um, you were here as well,” Johnny said and awkwardly sat down on the couch.

Ten just pursed his lips and nodded, sitting down as well. “How’s Daeun?” he asked.

“We broke up.”

“Oh,” Ten made, weirdly happy about the fact.

“I saw her. On New Year’s Eve. With another girl,” Johnny told him dryly, almost emotionlessly. “Sorry I didn’t listen to you sooner.”

Ten just shrugged again and intelligently said, “Shit happens.”

Johnny was silent again for a while before he spoke up again. “I think I owe you an apology.”

“No, you don’t—“

“Please let me tell you the story from my side. I need to get this off my chest,” Johnny insisted and Ten nodded and leaned back, watching Johnny intently.

Johnny took a deep breath and started. “So, we both know now that Daeun just basically used me to not get kicked out from her parents. And she told me everything and apologised a hundred times and I told her I understood. And I did understand her completely, probably a little too well.”

The older made a pause and Ten wanted to urge him to keep going because this suspense was killing him. But he saw it was hard for Johnny to tell him all this, so he kept his mouth shut, obediently.

“Because while she explained it all to me, I realised I had subconsciously done the same. Using her and pretending to be in a relationship while I didn’t feel anything of the romantic sort.

“I don’t even know exactly why I did it. I wasn’t ashamed of who I was, not when I know my friends would accept me no matter what. Maybe I just didn’t wanna destroy what we had,” Johnny said, getting quieter with every word.

“What are you trying to—“

“Ten, I like you, too,” Johnny blurted out, undoubtedly surprising both of them.

They stared at each other with wide eyes, both unable to move or speak. It was Ten who ended up being the first one to move. He got up and sprinted into his room, dialling Taeyong’s number with shaking hands.

“What’s up? Are you okay? Do you need—“

Ten cut him off quickly. “Taeyong, Taeyong, oh my God! Johnny, he—”

“What happened?” Taeyong sounded even more worried than at the beginning. “Take a deep breath and tell me everything.”

Ten complied to Taeyong’s order and began explaining the reason for his malfunctioning brain. “Well, guess who my flatmate is! It’s fucking Johnny!”

“What?” Taeyong shrieked. “Is everything okay? Please don’t tell you’ve killed him.”

“Taeyong, what the fuck? Of course, I haven’t,” Ten snorted. “He kinda confessed to me actually?”

Ten chuckled when he heard Taeyong quietly calling for Jaehyun to listen to the call, failing greatly. “He did what? Isn’t he in a relationship?”

“No, they broke up. He caught her cheating on him on New Year’s Eve. But here’s the catch: apparently Johnny had been in denial with his real feelings as well,” Ten explained, before adding: “Oh, and hi Jaehyun.”

He could hear a curse followed by the muffled sound of a hand hitting an arm.

This time Jaehyun spoke up. “But why are you talking to us right now? Shouldn’t you be, like, making out or something?”

Ten didn’t even have the nerves to blush at the words. “I, I don’t know what to do. It’s just a lot to take in actually.”

“Of course, Tennie. Take your time to process everything,” Taeyong agreed. “Just don’t keep him waiting for too long or he’ll flee the country or something. You know how he gets.”

Ten listened and thought of Johnny, sitting on the sofa quietly, waiting for Ten to come back. He was probably fidgeting with his fingers, keeping his lips to keep him occupied and not lose his mind.

“On second thought,” he started. “The making out thing doesn’t sound too bad. See ya!” He hung up and threw the phone on his bed. His hand on the door handle, he took a deep breath. On the other side was what he had wished for so long. He swallowed on opened the door.

Johnny’s head turned in a second, looking at him with big eyes. “I, I get that you’re not feeling the same as me anymore. I’ve been such an asshole to you...”

Ten chuckled, his heart filling with warmth, which spread through his whole body. “Come here, Johnny,” he said and opened his arms.

Johnny made a huh sound but stood up on wobbly legs. He rushed to Ten and hugged him tightly. And, oh, how Ten had missed his hugs. He was completely engulfed in Johnny’s arms, Johnny’s head buried in the crook of his neck.

They pulled away, their arms still around each other, and they shared a look.

Looking back, Ten didn’t know who moved first to kiss the other, but it didn’t matter to them anyway. They met in the middle, Johnny’s lips soft against Ten’s, and he couldn’t suppress the groan slipping from his lips as he slid his hands into Johnny’s hair to pull him closer.

One of Johnny’s arms wrapped around Ten’s waist, pulling their bodies impossibly closer. Johnny slipped his tongue into Ten’s mouth, and Ten’s body became hot at the realisation of how sure Johnny was, immediately gaining the upper hand.

Despite himself, Ten shoved Johnny away to fill his lungs with air once again. He chuckled when he saw how Johnny chased his lips with his own.

“Are you sure you want this?” Ten asked quietly, and he pressed his forehead against Johnny’s.

“I’ve never been surer,” Johnny replied easily. “Please, let me kiss you again...”

Ten smiled widely. “You already can’t get enough, huh?” he teased and kissed Johnny’s nose playfully.

“Yeah,” Johnny breathed.

Ten’s fingers started playing with the hair at the back of Johnny’s neck. “If we keep going, though, I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold back,” he told him in a sultry voice.

“Who said I wanted you to?”

That was all it took for Ten to kiss Johnny again.

 

///

 

They had manoeuvred their bodies to Ten’s bedroom while trying to lose as little body contact as possible. Ten’s bed was only designed for once person, maybe 1 person and a half if they were small, but definitely not for two grown men trying to have sex. But Johnny had told him between pants and kisses that his bed would only arrive the following day so they had no other option.

However, when Ten laid under Johnny, all needy, naked and spread out, the formally confident Johnny began to hesitate. And that was when Ten realised that he was most likely the first man Johnny would get intimate with.

“It’s okay, babe, I’ll talk you through it if you want,” Ten told him with a reassuring smile, and squeezed Johnny’s thigh to ease some of the tension in his body. It seemed to work because Johnny nodded quickly, shooting him a goofy grin before he leaned down to press kisses all over Ten’s face.

“Lube. In the bathroom,” Ten said shortly when Johnny’s kisses started to wander down his chest and stomach, but the hand in Johnny’s hair keeping him right with him. In the end, Johnny managed to free himself and waddled into the bathroom, giving Ten a nice view of his backside and he couldn’t help but give his erection a few pumps. At the thought of Johnny’s body on top of him, pressing into him, a breathy moan left his throat

That seemed to spur Johnny on and soon enough he attacked Ten’s lips with his own again and taking care of Ten’s cock. Ten threw his head back, baring his bare neck to the other and Johnny swallowed. “C—can I?” he stammered.

Ten nodded. “Mark me up all you want,” he consented and Johnny immediately went to work. He closed his mouth right over Ten’s prominent collar bones and began leaving a fat love bite there, making both of them moan when he almost broke the skin.

When Johnny was satisfied with the mess he had made out of Ten’s neck, he pulled back, looking at Ten expectantly. Ten took a while to come back to his senses, his eyes glassy and his cheeks red before he remembered he was supposed to give Johnny instructions.

“T—take the lube and coat your fingers with it, and then push one finger into me,” he said, fighting the weird feeling he got while saying it out loud.

Johnny didn’t say anything and followed Ten’s order. Johnny wasted no time and circled Ten’s rim before he was pushing in carefully. Ten would have told him he could stop treating him like glass, but it had been a long time since he had had sex with someone. He had had one-night-stands over the past years, but ever since he had realised just how much he loved Johnny, he couldn’t bring himself to go to bed with someone else. He had been masturbating plenty of times, though, thinking of Johnny all the while

Before he could stop himself, Ten was whimpering and groaning, moving his hips in time with the movements of Johnny’s finger, and the older took the hint to add another finger, scissoring them slightly and Ten almost choked at the feeling.

“Is this okay?” Johnny asked, and he sounded out of breath, as if he was the one with two fingers up his ass, pressing against his prostate.

Ten could only pant out a, “You’re a natural.”, the last syllable blending in with a moan and he squeezed his eyes shut. “Another one.”

Johnny did as he was told, angling his hand so he was hitting Ten’s spot dead on with every thrust. Ten pried his eyes open to see Johnny’s was looking at him, watching every expression of him closely, and Ten had the decency to blush, throwing an arm over his eyes. But Johnny was having none of that, removing Ten’s arm and pinning it over his head. “Wanna watch you,” he murmured and Ten blushed even more. He looked into Johnny’s brown eyes, which were almost black now with arousal and he smiled at the boy in front of him.

When Ten thought he was too close to coming, he informed Johnny who immediately retreated his fingers and wiped on the bed sheets. Much to Ten’s delight, Johnny had also brought a condom with him earlier, because he wasn’t sure if he would have survived to wait for any second longer.

Ten swallowed as he watched Johnny rolling the condom over his dick, and he wondered how he was supposed to take all that. Ten could now officially confirm that Johnny had a big heart and a big dick.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Johnny said softly, cradling Ten’s face as if he was feeling Ten’s inner conflict.

Ten nestled up to Johnny’s hand, taking a moment to just enjoy this moment. Johnny didn’t seem to be in a hurry either, just smiling at Ten before he leaned down to softly kiss him. The kiss turned dirty, though, when Johnny’s hand moved from Ten’s face, down his torso to get a hold of his hips, squeezing the skin, that it would leave marks guaranteed. He began rutting his erection on Ten’s muscular thighs, smearing the condom’s lube onto Ten’s skin.

And despite Johnny having told him that he wouldn’t start before Ten gave him the okay, Ten realised how desperate he was, his patience hanging by a thread which threatened to rip any moment. And Ten realised he wasn’t better off. So he searched for Johnny’s eyes before he nodded.

Johnny looked at him as if he had hung the moon. He grabbed one of Ten’s legs, hoisting it up before he slid home in one long thrust.

Ten felt as if he was split in two, and the air was punched out of his lungs. “Oh fu—,” he moaned, biting his lips from making too much noise and pissing off his new neighbours.

Johnny didn’t look better. His face was scrunched up in a deep frown, deep lines present on his forehead, and Ten would have kissed them away if he didn’t feel like he was gonna die if he moved one millimetre. He squeezed around Johnny involuntarily and seemed to set something off in the older. He started moving inside of Ten, at first shallow and short thrusts, but he became bolder with every minute.

When Johnny was moving at full force, Ten was close to crying. The initial pain had subsided and he was feeling ecstatic and over the moon at the feeling of Johnny moving inside of him, hitting all right spots just like Ten needed. And it was even more than that. The awareness of him finally having Johnny as he had always only dared to dream of, the realisation that Johnny wanted him back just as much as Ten wanted him.

Suddenly, Johnny slowed down, settling for deep, languid thrusts and his thumb swiped over Ten’s cheeks, wiping away some tears.

“Don’t stop,” Ten sniffled, hating himself for being such a sap, but he couldn’t help it. He had been waiting for this moment so long to finally happen.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” came Johnny’s answer, and true to his word, he picked up his pace again.

Ten concentrated on the feel of his rim being stretched by Johnny as he gave Ten probably the best dicking of his life.

Shortly before Ten tripped over the edge, he started to feel light-headed, almost as if he was going insane, and he clawed Johnny shoulders, his arms, his chest, any piece of skin he could reach, to ground himself. Johnny seemed to understand what Ten was trying to say, and he leaned down, kissing Ten messily and sloppily. That was all it took for the younger to come between the two of them, making a mess of his abdomen as he screwed his eyes shut in a long, silent moan.

Johnny followed suit, as a result of Ten clenching tightly around him, filling up the condom and he let himself fall onto Ten for a while before Ten protested and Johnny rolled over, so Ten was squished between Johnny’s body and the wall.

Before the awkward silence would become unbearable, Johnny got up to throw away the condom and get a wet towel to clean Ten up. He was thoughtful and gentle as he wiped up Ten’s sore places, and Ten could feel himself drifting off.

But Johnny thought otherwise. “Nuh-uh, Ten,” he chided. “Don’t fall asleep on me now. I need to change the sheets, okay? You can go lie down on the couch if you want, I made it comfortable for you there,” he suggested.

After Ten had decided it wouldn’t be helping to pretend to be dead, he got up. However, his legs opposed to that plan and gave out almost immediately. Ten blushed furiously because this had never happened before.

Johnny just smiled at him fondly, before helping him into a pair of clean boxers. Then he stood in front of Ten, and before the latter knew what was happening, Johnny had picked him up and gave him a piggy-back ride to the living room.

Laughter echoed through the still barely furnished apartment, and while Ten blamed his post-coital, mushy brain, he truly couldn’t deny how happy he was, now that Johnny was here with him.

Johnny carefully laid him down on the couch, before he handed him a bottle of water, and told him to drink up.

“Why are you so perfect?” Ten pouted after he had downed a good half of the bottle.

Johnny didn’t answer, just ruffled through Ten’s greasy hair with a fond before he disappeared to change the sheets in Ten’s room.

 

///

 

“If you’ve liked me as well the whole time, why didn’t you say anything when I told you?” Ten asked, his fingers tracing patterns on Johnny’s naked chest, his head resting on one of Johnny’s arms.

“Do we have to talk about this right now?” Johnny sighed and stopped petting Ten’s head for a moment.

“Yes, we do.”

Johnny just sighed again. “Ok fine. As stupid as it sounds, I wasn’t sure about my feelings for you. Like, we’ve always been a bit... closer than other friends, but somehow it never hit me that there could be more between us you know? It was like your confession had made me think about it for the first. And I still was in a relationship at that time.”

“If you hadn’t been with Daeun, would you maybe have realised your feelings earlier?” Ten asked further.

“Maybe. I don’t know. Probably? All that matters is that we managed to overcome the crisis in the end,” Johnny said happily, his fingers moving through Ten’s black hair again.

“Does it mean that we’re dating now?”

As a response, Johnny just pressed a kiss onto the crown of Ten’s head and pulled him tighter.

 

///

 

Two weeks later, after Johnny’s furniture had arrived, and the apartment looked more home-y, the young couple decided to throw an apartment-warming party.

They prepared everything in the morning, placing plastic cups and paper dishes decoratively on the coffee table, as well as chocolate muffins Johnny’s mother had baked for the two. Their guests would bring the rest of the food.

It was all good. Ten actually felt like he was really living his life for once, sharing an apartment with his boyfriend (Ten still got giddy when he thought of that term)—life was good.

And since they had been done earlier than expected, they watched some television together, just enjoying the quietness before their friends would arrive.

Life was good if it wasn’t for Johnny who decided it was a smart idea to bend Ten over the kitchen counter half an hour before the guests would arrive. Because apparently, Johnny didn’t only have a big heart and a big dick, but also a giant amount of stamina.

“Do you want to kill me?” Ten whined, his body moving forwards with every thrust of Johnny’s hips.

“Passing out because dick is so good, huh?” Johnny asked smugly, nosing the juncture of Ten’s neck.

“You’re unbelievable, I don’t know why I’m putting up with you,” Ten continued complaining. “If someone sees us like this, it’s your fault.”

“Less talking, more fucking, okay?”

One angulated thrust had Ten shutting up for good, and he scrambled to get something to hold on, however, the polished surface of the counter didn’t give him the desired effect.

“You think you can come in five minutes?” Johnny asked, sneaking a hand between Ten’s legs to grab his erection and give him a few loose pumps.

Ten muttered something along the lines of ‘challenge accepted’ and rolled his head back when Johnny thumbed the slit of Ten’s dick, a few gallops of pre-come oozing out, serving as lube when Johnny started to jerk him off for real.

“You’re taking it so well, Tennie. My baby boy,” Johnny whispered in Ten’s ear.

“That’s because you’ve been mounting me every free second for the past two weeks,” Ten shot back, the bite in his voice lost by the fact that he had to bite back a moan every couple seconds.

“Don’t say you don’t like it.”

“Never said I didn’t.”

After half a dozen strokes, Ten was gone, coating Johnny’s fist and their cutlery drawer in his release, cursing in Thai. Johnny fucked him through him, and Ten regretted telling him he liked over-stimulation. He rested his forehead on his arms and let Johnny use him for his own pleasure and soon enough Johnny came into the condom.

Ten almost had a heart attack when the doorbell rang a few minutes later.

“You two had sex,” was Taeyong’s greeting as he let himself in, Jaehyun following suit.

“Excuse me?” Ten asked hoarsely, realising too late that his fly was still opened, and he didn’t even want to know about the situation of his hair.

“You so had sex! I see it,” Taeyong continued which earned him shocked looks from both Jaehyun and Johnny.

“How do you know what Ten looks like when he’s had sex?” Jaehyun asked with wide eyes.

“Jaehyun, do you really think—ew. Come on!”

Now it was Johnny’s time to square up. “What’s so ew about that?”

Ten nodded quickly. “Yeah, what he said.”

Taeyong sighed. “What I wanted to say is that I’ve often had the pleasure of picking Ten up from his one night stands. So yeah, I know a couple things, I don’t want to know about.”

“Can we please not talk about my sex life?” Ten asked desperately.

“So you admit that you two had sex?” Jaehyun inquired this time.

“Go away!” Ten said loudly and smacked Jaehyun’s chest. “Go make yourself useful and get the food or something.”

Jaehyun did as he was told, dragging Johnny with him to get the food from their car, so it was just Taeyong and Ten on their own.

“So?” Taeyong asked and wiggled his eyebrows.

“You were right, are you happy now?” Ten crossed his arms.

“I am, actually. Jaehyun owns me money now.”

“You were betting on Johnny’s and my love life?” Ten exclaimed shocked.

Taeyong looked at him as if he didn’t understand why Ten was this outraged. “Well, I have to make a living somehow.”

Ten only shook his head, unable to fight a little smile before he told Taeyong to help him fix his hair before the others would arrive.

                                                                                  

The others dropped in one by one—or actually, two by two because almost everybody was dating now apparently—and Ten got happy when he saw how much they all had brought with them.

Ten thanked them for coming, declared the buffet for open and put on some music. Then after a while, he went over to Donghyuck, who was finally alone for the first that day. He tapped the younger’s shoulder and cleared his throat. “I just, um, wanted to say I’m glad you didn’t make fun of when I was, you know, having my phase.”

Donghyuck smiled, for what felt like the first time, genuinely at Ten, and said, “Don’t mention it. We’ve all been there. And I just wanted to tell you congrats on finally being a couple.”

“How did you know—,” Ten started but Mark, who had apparently been getting drinks for the two of them, returned suddenly and broke out when he saw the two having a normal conversation without biting each other’s heads off.

“I can’t believe my boys are finally getting along!” he exclaimed happily.

“I’m not your boy,” Ten protested as soon as the words had left Mark’s mouth, and he made sure to block Mark’s arm, which the latter tried wrapping around his shoulders.

“Oh, right, you’re Johnny’s boy, right?” Mark asked with a smirk and a wink.

“Okay, hold on!” Ten called out, not realising how he attracted most of the guest’s attention. “How the fuck does everybody know about Johnny’s and my relationship?”

The living room was completely silent.

At least until Taeyong whispered, “Act surprised guys!”

The others reacted promptly, making ‘oh’ and ‘ah’ and sharing their best wishes. Ten’s searched for Johnny in the crowd, hoping Johnny wasn’t going on full panic mode after finding out everyone else knew about their relationship, even though he had wanted to keep it a secret. But Johnny just shrugged, and Ten let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

“Did you really think we’d leave your getting-together to chance?” Taeyong asked, almost laughing, as if he couldn’t believe Ten and Johnny had actually been that clueless.

“So you’ve been playing matchmaker all that time?” Johnny asked, joining Ten’s side and curling an arm around his waist in such an almost possessive way that it had Ten’s heart flutter.

“Obviously,” chirped Jungwoo softly. “You two idiots were just too stupid to get anything done yourselves.”

“Hyuck doesn’t even have vocal lessons that often,” Mark explained with a laugh.

Suddenly, it clicked in Ten’s head. “Johnny, who told you about the apartment?”

“Jaehyun, why...—Oh! Do you really think that...?”

“Of course it was all part of their plan!” Ten said loudly. “Because Taeyong was the one who told me about it.”

“You should have seen these two when they found out about Mark and Johnny getting kicked out of the apartment,” Dongyoung laughed. “They saw their chance and it took. I swear they are unstoppable.”

They stared at Ten, almost scared of his expression. Ten looked at Johnny, they shared a look before they broke out into laughter, and the others joining in.

 

December 2018

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading (if you've even made it this far lol)
> 
> as always, comments and kudos are deeply appreciated <3
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/nvventeen) | [carrd](https://klarahelene.carrd.co/)


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